I knew that their professional optimism didn't stretch far at all.
Knowing. That the only way to breathe steady each moment was my surrender to His wisdom.
That I must trust my dreams, my people, and my heart to His keeping.
For whatever divine reason - He chose to give another breath. And then I breathed the daffodills and earthscents of spring. Watching the wildflowers blend into the green grace of summer. There were months of prayer, choosing to trust and deep heart searching. Coming to realize I have no right to the priveledge of life over any other person. Life is Gift.
Every moment is pure grace. Each small detail is extravegance.
He gave the gift of attending my cousins wedding in July, completing chemo in August, and visiting dear heart family across the eastern states in Semptember. I have been gifted with crimson leaves, tangerine skies, and the shadows of angels. Completing the circle of seasons all the way to the cheery Christmas lights, the caroling, and contemplative joy.
He has graced me with cancer.
Now, I more fully comprehend His love. In the lives of those I love, I have touched the fulfillment of years of prayers. My trust in God is growing organic. The values of my heart are rooting deep and sure. Where I have lost physical strength I have gained a rugged confidence in His care.
And honestly, I wouldn't trade it in for anything.
Yes it has been hard. I have cried freely, stumbled hard and wondered if I could even try again... But all things taken into account - This has been the best year of my life so far!
"The Father's presence encircled Christ, and
nothing befell Him but that which infinite love permitted for the blessing of the world.
Here was His source of comfort, and it is for us.
He who is imbued with the Spirit of Christ abides in Christ.
The blow that is aimed at him falls upon the Saviour, who surrounds him with His presence.
Whatever comes to him comes from Christ.
He has no need to resist evil, for Christ is his defense. Nothing can touch him except by our Lord's permission, and "all things" that are permitted "work together for good to them that love God."
~ Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing
Like an unexpected song.
An unexpected song - that is only just beginning. . .